I just wrote an email to a fellow I recently met, last week in fact, who has lived in NYC much if not all his life. Really nice guy. We agreed to do a session exchange with him receiving the day before Thanksgiving. For the past few years he's had a healing center in town, is well respected and a real sweet heart besides. I wrote to share some insights and ask him some advice. He being a local and all, in the business plus a New Millennium Man (a well integrated, developed and evolved New Age guy), I figured he'd have some much needed perspective upon which to draw.
As I've only been in NYC just over 4 mos. now, a new kid on the block, I wanted to ask if he would shed some light on something I've encountered while being here. It's a funny thing, this question I asked. He being an awakening man, I knew he would have some answers I would do well to hear.
It had to do with real basic communication if not breakdowns, communication 'uncertainties' on my part. Over the last few weeks, I've written and called a number of guys in the consciousness community requesting a meet & greet. I wanted to introduce myself and get to know the men who had been here for a while. I personally have no aversion asking for directions when trying to find my way. When wanting to get the lay of the land so to speak, ask someone who's been there. So I asked or at least tried to.
What I encountered puzzled me. Many of those I contacted either didn't respond at all or were non committal if not totally evasive. Now, I wasn't cold calling asking for money or the number to their girl friends ... only reaching out to connect in person. No, I don't have a wall flower personality nor am I Ethel Merman in drag. Somewhere in the middle, I'd say but who can really say about one's own reflection not being the surface that reflects it.
It was like something reacted in them that prevented them from following through on the uptake. Hey, I know we're all real busy with our lives here with hardly enough time to do all we already have to do. But not to return an email invite or phone call I thought was odd - especially after having met a few of them at a gathering for a mutual friend who introduced many of us all together.
Since being here, truth be told, I've let a few contacts slip through my fingers as well, Not everybody feels like someone I'd like to get to know or as we say, a resonant frequency. I stear my life by my internal guidance system and I too am rather discerning as to who I let in through the gates to my inner sanctum. And yet, what I kept encountering had a slightly different quality to it.
Being a very intuitive guy, I've come to know my intuition is always 100% right on. Always. I, however, don't always follow it or interpret it 100% accurately but I'm getting better as I go along . The reason I wrote S. is because I realized I was not only too close to the situation but indeed do have my own filtering clouding my perceptions, thus the reach out to get another man's point of view. Here, verbatim, is the letter I wrote yesterday to Mr S.
Hey Good Man,
I trust this note finds you happy, well and perhaps a bit stuffed ...
I've had a series of downloads after our session the other day and
if I could, would like to share them with you. Thank you for your time in reading this now.
I so appreciate the shared space we as men are able to tap into as we co-create a very new way of being. Quite honestly S, it means the world to me.
With every atom in my Being I believe The Brotherhood will save us, along of course with The Sisterhood - that if not us, than who? As I step into this NYC gene pool, as mentioned, it's been interesting finding my way through the way people and specifically men, relate with me.
Aside from whatever intuitive reads I get as I go along, I'm fully aware that in order for us all to continue surviving on this planet, the men in humanity will have to communicate in very different ways now. To me, this is non-negotiable. We will have to connect with each other in ways that are indeed more complimentary than competitive, more user-friendly and less of the adversary.
What I have experienced here are the now current and familiar levels of interplay and exchange patterns amongst us and yes, there are many more octaves and levels yet to come ... however, unless we learn to communicate our feelings as we go, completing the feedback loop, we remain largely looking from the outside in. Don't you think? I mean, to actually participate empoweredly with the waves of consciousness now flooding through, I believe we have to be at least willing to complete the circuit as the circuit presents Itself in our lives.
I fully know Spirit delivers Itself to Itself as us to engage, play, work and exchange with as we go through life ... hey, I'm all for discernment mind you, I just haven't grown too distant to believe I can do it alone or really want to anymore.
I don't know about anyone else S but growing up I was the star athlete who always picked the most clumsy kid on the playground instead of him feeling judged, rejected and alone.
For me not to reach out to the new kid on the block isn't in my DNA.
To not extend an open hand let alone let one slid off mine isn't how I'm built.
And this again is the communication piece - we need witnesses and reference points from our brothers now, not to say that all duly expressed is accurate, true and supportive, however YOU HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING in response. The close up turn your back and walk away is really old paradigm.
I believe why it's a bit challenging for us to do this is because although we've been guided by the women in our lives to open up to our emotions by expressing our feelings with them, in order for men to really do this with each other we will have to go to a deeper degree of us Loving, liking and being open to ourselves first.
I've been called a Shadow Magnet, one who quirks up our other's self critical voice and dark persona and as always, it's easier to project this out on another ... it can be a lonely role to play at times, one that though actually Sacred, takes a very strong and clear sense of self/Self - of taking nothing too personally - and this of course has challenged me considerably, because (up until now) I took everything personally, feeling I was ever to blame. Really fucked up but there you have it.
Believe me S, I've been riding the waves of being in this world ever since hitchhiking away from home in '76 ,desperately trying to be a man. Questing to actualize what in my Heart was already a living reality and yet, in my present life experience, many many years way ahead over the often receding horizons ...in due time I've come to terms with my personal emotional body, it's patterns and tendency's and have learned to do what I do if only to save my own life. It don't just fall off a tree does this wisdom enter us.
However, the ache I sometimes now feel is an age old one of us all remaining in separation consciousness, I mean like forever - of actually willingly choosing it.
This terrifies me to my core this depth of aloneness and on some level, know it all too well.
Why else would I choose to follow this particular path now.
Maybe it's a Bodhisattva calling.
I really don't know.
This in part is why I'm writing you Sammy D.
I'm requesting help because I can't see how this looks from the outside and aside from just wanting a friend to give feedback, I figured you being you and all, would have a pretty good perspective to lend and eye here. Just a thought.
I acknowledge and send gratitude your way today.
I Always Wish You Well,
Keith
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