Changing times we live in. Big time.
In the aftermath of Storm Sandy here in NYC, with not just the physically destructive impact felt in the neighborhoods hit the hardest, the feeling of vulnerability and uncertainty has been a subtle yet palpable undercurrent waving through the vibe-ways.
Does anyone on the planet really have a clue as to what is going on these days? With so much happening on every level of our lives, now with the presidential elections taking place today and all this signifies for us in America along with the rest of the world, it's no wonder those of us who actually tune into the deeper currents feel a bit unsettled. At least I do. It's the empath's curse. Like those animals who get the pre-shakes days before the earthquake erupts, somehow sensing the tremors emanating from deep within the Earth, I've always unconsciously tapped into an information stream foretelling things to come.
To be sure, growing up with this ability was nothing short of crazy-making. As the youngest child living in a murky gene pool of my family life, with so many cross currents swirling about that no one either identified or owned up to, I was often left questioning if I was somehow responsible for all the energetic confusion in my home. I expect all too many of us in our youths felt this uncertainty.
This played right into the part of me that innately felt somehow wrong and at fault, most often assuming I was to blame for the lack of Love or joy in my family. I automatically took it upon myself to play the scape goat for the rest of us. I certainly didn't have the know-how to positively re-frame my experiences growing up and reference myself from a clearer perspective.
So in that respect, hardly anyone I've know, specifically men, were taught early in life to go inside to get connected in their own pure Spiritual information stream, let alone get centered, aligning within their Sacred Self. Of all the things I was taught and quickly forget growing up with all those boring school hours spent in class with other kids, no one had the sense to teach me about this.
As always, it was through Grace and fate that I discovered how to meditate and begin unwinding the sizable amount of nonsense within my self. Of course, it's taken years to transform and clear out the warehouses of emotional baggage and unwind the erroneous and self destructive belief systems to even begin to see the light of this clear day, here and now.
As a result and nothing short of out of dire necessity, I've learned my Heartspace is always my go-to place to get still and quiet when the outer storms are raging and more importantly, when fear, insecurity and uncertainty threatens to capsize my personal harmony. To say it's all in the breath would be way too simple and yet, completely true. The eternal in breath out breath, like the waves of the oceans or the motion that light and sound travel upon, is the most basic of energetic signatures in our Universe.
For most of my life, I never really knew how to breathe, not in the ways the mystics or Spiritual adept do. Even though I learned how to practice meditation at an early age, like all things of deeper value, it's taken years to discover the essential elements and power of this ageless and profoundly simple tool of self awareness and Self discovery. Learning to rest in my breath has certainly saved my life, over and over again.
Because I digested so much anger growing up, internalizing it to be sure, never learning how to properly release and transform it, I've (up until now) always been reactive when confronted with the uncomfortable feelings that have in turn, been a product of being too reactive. To compensate and insulate, I turned to smoking grass the same year I learned to meditate as a way of protecting my self from the confusion and dissonance around me.
Like all sensitive types who weren't trained early in life to deal with the chaos of Earth life, drugs and substance are the readily available ways used to cope or try to handle the emotional trauma dramas of living in this world. So many people never even approached let alone, manifested their true potential because of these addictive patterns. The easy way out usually ends up keeping us here longer.
Learning how to properly deal with fear, difficulty and self doubt are said to be the prime lessons of Earth School and the rigorous curriculum, subject matter we are all here to master.
As so I am, with each breath at a time.
...to be continued ...
No comments:
Post a Comment