To What Do I Give The Reason To Close My Heart?

Hey, it really is a choice. Each and every day, over and over again we are given the opportunity to either open or close our Hearts - to others in our lives, to our world in general and most importantly, to ourselves. It's subtle and not so subtle after all.

By intention, The Awakening Sacred Masculine has pledged to open and empower his Heartspace awareness - at all costs, no matter what. To embody the Sacred in all our lives depends on doing just this. simply put - we get to Heaven through our open Hearts. We might have bad posture and still slip in or even bad breath but alas, the closed Heart does not it's entrance make. No way.

Throughout my adult life and the years spent trying trying trying to open my Heart, it was when I finally faced and embraced all the reasons I chose to close it in the first place, that I really started getting traction. It was looking closely at all the moments I was on quick trigger mode, pre-programed through my rich and consistent masculine mass unconsciousness conditioning that I began to see how deeply ingrained my behavior patterns actually were.

To catch myself and take a breath before I reacted in push-away has taken years to learn how to do, a number of relationships the cost paid to acquire the insights necessary to get a grasp on how I just couldn't let go of my fear, isolation and oh yeah, my judgment. I was always so quick to judge and sometimes still am when faced with something or someone I get triggered by. Sound familiar?

As well you all know, there are just so many strange ass people in this world, especially in NYC, though by no means does this place own the franchise. We're everywhere! The beautiful thing about 'getting' compassion, I mean really planted deep down inside of you is no one is ever exempt from the grand ongoing let-go, let God 'handle this please' response in life. It's a choice, each step of the way. For those having had their Hearts beaten open or perhaps better said, broken open, the way most often taken to get this most precious Sacred Gift is found in the trenches of your own Human suffering.

You don't get this one from a catchy webinar or video series or a few good yoga classes. You gotta earn it, each tear at a time. At least this has been so for me and those I've worked with and observed over the years. The currency of consciousness and the commodity exchange required is always Loving the parts of ourselves we hate, loathe and deny the most. There is no other way to enter the Gateways to Heaven within yourself unless you do.

As Ganga Ji says - Your devotion to love must become stronger than your attachment to suffering.

This path of Awakening The Sacred is a most demanding one, fraught with the perils of your ego personality fighting you each step of the way. To face you ego's need to control your consciousness and go toe to toe with your unconscious belief systems and pre-conditioning takes balls the size of King Kong's and a near masochistic willingness to do whatever it take to finally come Home. You really gotta want it, in fact more than anything else ... seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven ... and all that.

When I was first initiated into this whole Awakening The Sacred Masculine thing (at least in this life, in 1997) and continued calling the Christ into me in all those ceremonies since, I eventually realized that the hidden small print stated that if I did, I couldn't ever close it down again. Not totally. The relative comfort and convenience so long imbedded, with the gut reaction to push away what didn't please me just didn't fly anymore. Instead, those behavior patterns began to drown me.

To get off the burning dock of my narrow mindedness, I've had to continuously commit to jumping onto the floating boat. As in God can't catch you unless you jump. And quite profoundly, the jumps don't ever stop ... a number of years ago, I went through an Ayahuasca phase, traveling down to Brazil to work with a shaman there. This old guy who after journeying hundreds if not thousands of time said each and every time he drinks the juice, he has to let go and be willing to die.

No matter how many years you've meditated, medicated, masticated or masturbated, each and every orgasm happens in this very present moment. There's just escaping it. Each and every time I get pissed off, I have the widow of opportunity to shift from my head to my Heart, from my reactive judgments to my Heartspace compassion, knowing full well this schmuck before me is not only a direct mirror to me but believe it or not, doing his very best with what all he has to work with at the time.

How can I really fault him for his Humanness, his Humanity in full and funky display?
Unconditional Love is not unconditional like - I don't have to like everything in this world and surely do not, however to embody the Sacred in my life, I've had to learn to Love it all, that's for sure. Starting with  my most funky and nasty shit, first and foremost.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING Y"ALL

...to be continued ...