Quick Turn Around

I wanted to do a brief share with where I’m at these days … I recently spent a most thrilling day brain storming, vision crafting and playing with my new friends and publishing coaches Jane Ashley and her husband, Scott Watrous (JaneScottBrandCatalyst.com). We met up at their sweet home on the Connecticut shore, sharing 'quality time' working together.

 

The intention of our visit was to spend focused, one-on-one time laying the next steps down as to what my/our next moves are in bringing my work Soul Coach: Awaken The Sacred out as a brand. To witness how they work together distilling and streamlining the essential message of my work, combined with the specific tools to do so was really very exciting.

I feel privileged and honored to have been invited to experience the creative process so wonderfully displayed and shared. They are extremely good at what they do and a pleasure and joy to be around. If you have a desire to bring your work out, they are definitely an extremely knowledgeable and magical team to work and ally with. Thank you Jane & Scott!

My tasks to do are to compile a series of my blog posts that exemplify my message, to condense them down to fit the format we came up with and get them ready to publish via eBook later this summer. As a result, I’ve been busy sorting through and writing to complete my homework to send back for Scott’s further review. 

As an aside: being with them and hearing/seeing/feeling their vision laid out before me was truly awesome! And a bit whelming as well. Our intense time together was like the mountain top, vista overview of the potential possibilities before me now. The buzz and rush of what this looks like caught me by surprise as I came back to NYC, amidst the crush and hurry of big city life. 

Now is the time to actualize my vision and as is often the case after such an expanded experience, it’s time to do the work required to make it so. This is where I’ve been lately and I look forward to sharing a post in a few days, sharing this process.

Enjoy this week leading up the Summer Solstice early Friday morning (on the east coast).

Til soon

with

Only Blessings On Your Way,

Keith

Expand! Expand! Expand!

I recently had the pleasure and honor of spending time here in NYC with a wonderful healer/facilitator named Damien Wynne. He’s a lovely Irish man living in Germany who visits the States now and again, giving workshops and personal healing sessions. My friend Mel promotes him here and strongly recommended I attend his Spring seminar and take advantage of his unique gifts.
 

In that many of my previous teachers have been women, the chance to sit with a man in Sacred space has a special appeal for me. I was not disappointed in the least. Even though his personal background is very different than mine, the Heartspace shared is always the same no matter what our individual stories happen to be.

Over the years in this respect, I’ve come to attend to the promptings of consciousness by attentively watching what shows up in my life, especially from those I respect and care for. I’ve found God speaks most personally to me through my personal relationships, regardless of the status or circumstances. So was the case with Damien. As always, I’m thrilled to have listened to my intuition and followed my good sense by attending his appearances while he was in town.

In fact, thanks to Mel, I was able to assist her in her preparations and lend support during his programs – a Friday and Monday evening event on either ends of a weekend, all day workshop. Don't you know, I am so grateful for all the grace that comes my way. Thank you!

In truth, I was very curious to experience how Damien worked, yet largely went to tap into the current he works with. At this point, this is always the main attraction. I wanted to observe as a fellow facilitator, though more important, experience the Juice, feeling the shifts and expansions I was told he co-created for those he works with.

Having lived, trained and worked in Sedona for over 10 yrs, I’ve witnessed and experienced a fairly large array of healer practitioners, presenting their services. Along with living on Ibiza, sampling some of the various offerings on the European consciousness circuit, by no means have I done it all but surely enough to know for myself. As a result, I’ve come to where the newest and best techniques and 5^th dimension-sent modalities aren’t immediately appealing anymore.

Many years ago I learned it ain’t the meat, it’s the motion that works the highest magic. The form is always secondary to the content and in this regard, know the most powerful ‘healings’ happen when the healer isn’t so present, acting in charge. From this, during a session years ago, the saying ‘through me, not from me’ was born. I believe we enter the Sacred within ourselves with equal measure humility and self empowerment, equal degrees of compassion, courage and humorous self reflection. Four Agreements paraphrased, you can't personally take yourself too seriously and have to do your very best to laugh often at what you see.

Also observed, the practitioners with strong self-promotions were often the ones who looked like they were mostly trying to convince themselves of their worth. This was gladly lacking in Damien. For me, this alone was worth the price of admission.

It was so refreshing being with a guy who appeared to not only be walking his talk but felt to have embodied his talk, his message, through and through. This was a revelation. Again, not having sat with so many men recently and having had various, mostly lacking encounters with brothers here in NYC over this past year, I was touched by Damien’s simple, yet distinct expression of his Christedness. 

This is what I came for when I initially signed up, to witness and experience this Christedness, alive and living well. Even though the format was slightly different in the various venues Damien presented, his manner was consistent as was the quality of energy that came through for the groups in attendance. Having learned many years ago, the really good ones always deliver consistently, regardless of where the Sun, Moon or Pluto are that particular day or the other many influences having more sway on their personal reality. They just show up, present in their own clear consciousness, aligned with the Beloved and yes, the energy does flow.

It’s only because, after all, they really aren’t doing the work. And they know it. They’re just the messengers … and just as Tom Kenyon said a couple of weeks ago during his visit here, ‘I’m just the pizza delivery guy!’ Don’t you just Love this? Through the years having waded through my own deeply egoic need to impress others of my value, I sincerely appreciate when another, who carries significant healing mojo, carry themselves with a simple grace and ease.

Real power is like this. It only has to Be – nothing more, nothing less… and this is always more than enough. Without going into detail about how Damien worked, doing this or saying that, I listened and tuned more intently into how he internally called in and caressed the very energies he spoke to out loud in group. This energy can never be fooled, manipulated, coerced or tamed. It is the Christ consciousness being reawakened and reborn upon the planet now.

Experience knows: only in purity does the Christ flow through. Purity is both specific and relative/subjective, however, the word derives from the root Pure and this is never negotiable or deniable when present. During his teaching sessions, I recognized ways he ignited his breath and body as well, opening the energetic spaces first within himself and then in turn, the room. I saw the channel of Light he evoked, filling and surrounding the room as he encouraged all of us to do the same, individually for ourselves. 

I witnessed the energies in the group shift, change and lift, watching as everyone, as best they could, ride the currents coming through. It was a gentle though powerful wave, sweet or rather, very dear. The Beloved’s Love always feels like this – in other ways too of course, yet always deeply reverent and sincere. How could It not? I too gave myself to the current, following his strong request to “Expand!Expand!Expand!” breathing deeply, calling the Christ Heart into our own Hearts and bodies, full on. 

Over and over again we were encouraged to keep “Breathing & Expanding” all to ignite and lift the energies held within the hidden, internal places where we’ve all left some funky old baggage behind. These psychic spaces, crammed full with our accumulated and disowned shit (or so we still call it) are always the doorways of our greatest healing, awaiting our totally present, conscious awareness and committed intention to heal.

It really does take both, you know. Intentions are great and necessary for focusing our visions into form, however, the real work comes in always choosing to face and embrace all of our selves, radiance and Shadow alike. That’s our life’s work fulfilled to our Souls eternal delight. I believe it’s a pretty rare, far and few between quality to find in a man - just to say. This is finally changing, albeit too slowly for my taste. But hey, this is why we’re alive here in the first place, to help bring this through now, both women and men alike.

To feel the Beloved inside is indeed a precious gift of God, however, to embody This takes only one thing. Nothing else can be more important and nothing less will do. From this purity comes. Ultimately, no thrill of the world and all things from it, can measure up to the unwavering devotion and commitment to align and embody The Beloved with each breath The most enlightened beings are often the most simple. They just do God.

As a facilitator and participant, the potent moments the energy shifts within a group is a wondrous thing. In other vernaculars, it’s called the Holy Spirit filling the room. However you get the healin’-  it’s a very good thing. Being fortunate enough to spend two evenings and two full days in the Expando Zone with Damien, I got the necessary recoding presented by all he/we called and breathed in together. 

I got infused with the energy reboot and upgraded in resonance having repeatedly filled my lungs, Heart and wings, riding the updrafts we all co-created.The paradox always plays out in moments like this. Sure you have to simply Be Present and yet, you have to do the do to bring the current in and through. You have to keep breathing deep, always with a sense of purpose and in this respect, keep yourself on task. This is the doing part of the show.

The old stuck energies, long held both individually and collectively won't just Poof - Be Gone! Nope. It takes focus, effort and consistent commitment. It takes - dare I say - work. This last statement may be so New Age, in-apropos, the work part I mean and yet, unless I keep my attention placed on expanding and filling with the presence of Christ, breath by breath, I won't have taken advantage of the gift presented through Damien and all the other signpost Blessings in my life. 

And this feels like a sorry fate indeed.

... to be continued ...

PS I am offering my Heart Tantra session work here in the NY area for all those interested in experiencing and receiving world-class bodywork and Advanced Energy Healing. I also read The Akashic Records and as written previously, do Soul recovery work as well. Please consult my web site heartantra.com and The Attunement Session for more info on my services.

PPS If you felt moved, inspired, touched, supported, annoyed, or anything else after reading this post, please let me know. I really do appreciate your comments and feedback. It’s easy and only takes a minute.  Click on 'comments' or 'no comments' below. Also, if you feel inspired to share this with another, please do so!

Thank You

Leading With Need

In the delicacy and mastery of my personal energy management – how I go about creating my reality, consciously or not – a strategy I’ve thankfully left largely behind is one I call - Leading With Need. Whenever faced with an especially challenging situation in my life, up until now, (I just Love that qualifier!), I’ve most often acted/reacted from a place of caution, concern, doubt and yes, fear. I always compressed, clinched and got tight. Most every time.

 

This is rarely an advantageous position from which to make an important decision, crunching in the midst of a whelming moment, over the top or not. Like most of us, I never learned, nor was taught, how to navigate my life with even a semblance of conscious awareness. I just didn’t have a clue and as with those who actually do evolve, got my smarts more on the fly. Looking back, one of my advantages was I left home at 18, hitchhiking out West, jumping head first, naked with a backpack on, into the at times flame and most always, the uncertain mystery of life. 

Whether courageous, audacious or hopelessly out of touch, my choice to follow the road, meeting and dealing with whatever I faced, has made me the man I am. There’s an old saying I’ve so often told myself in times of struggle and stress: Learn to fly when you’re falling. Not especially comforting I suppose but coming from an old school approach of evolving at all costs, it puts it all tidy neat in a nutshell. 

Not very helpful advice for so many people I’ve known, however, they wouldn’t know how to handle the pressure of not having a ‘life plan’ firmly in place. For those too given to caving, it’s murder of the immune system. Perhaps it was early on hearing R. Frost’s famous poem about the road less traveled having made all the difference and all that. Like migrating birds, an internal switch went off early in my primal brain, telling me I had to leave the nest as soon as I possibly could.

Choosing to forgo the collage route though from heavy academic parentage, I most desired to become better at being me, not at something I could make a good living at. How often I’ve wondered how my life would be had I followed in the footsteps laid out before me – which of course, was an impossibility from my point of view. Perhaps it was my innately rebellious nature that only intensified when told what to do, and yet, I didn’t have too far to look to see how this approach didn’t insure a life of contentment, fulfillment or happiness. Just ask my parents.

Somehow on some instinctual level, I knew I had a whole lot of catching up to do – and the info I was being given in my home wouldn’t help much in moving me forward on my quest. It turns out, I was right. I’ve known a lot of intelligent people in my life but not so many wise or especially awake ones. I’ve had the pleasure of brief glimpses into how a life of conscious co-creation looks, how a master goes about themselves in ways that often defy easy explanation, yet most always are clearly exceptional. 

An awakened person is a living work of art, a priceless display of clear consciousness in action. Wow - it thrills me just writing that. And in efforts to enliven this in myself, inside, out and all about, I’ve largely learned from what hasn’t worked. I call it, The Back Hand Path. But learn I have and it’s in meeting uncertainty from doubt and fear that life has usually taught me best by punishing my choice. Ouch again!

Professionally, I’m working with a wonderful woman who was born with a strong, deep seated belief she was absolutely not safe in her life. In no way not at all. In her own journey of awakening - long story short: she once touched back into her fetus self, sometime while in utero, remember then the searing impression that’s been a near constant companion throughout her life. Not given to extreme behaviors, tastes or diversions, she has steadily explored her inner terrain, seeking to release this clinging, cloying undercurrent feeling of abject anxiety and apprehension.

However we come to face our pain, we all have to do this for~by~within~ourselves. This is  non-negotiable. Unless you do, there is no other way to fully achieve what each Soul came here for, a shot at mastery. The cheery, channeled messages via the new voices of the post New Age, speak of the great potential within all of us. All of which, amazingly enough, is totally true. And yet, you still gotta do the do of living your life, day in day out.

As best I can, I choose to show up conscious, actually when I immediately awaken to meet my day, Heart on. To this end, I’ve learned how essential my morning practice is and how necessary it is to consistently maintain by checking in, plugging in and aligning in within my Self first thing. Without doing this simple self-care practice, I feel at best like I’m breathing with half a lung.

Returning back to the importance of maintaining my personal Constitutionals (previous blogs will attest), I know I simply have to do the basic things first to ensure a smoother, more enjoyable day. The results are always a greater lightness or looseness in my motion and a softer energy step as well. As addressed in previous posts, for me Spirituality don’t mean a thing, unless it got that swing of joy all up in It.

As I write this, life is presenting me with a high level of uncertainty concerning my living situation. Needless to say, I know a change is in the works and yet, a clear path on is slow in presenting itself. Given the ambiguity of not knowing, yet having to find out pretty quick, sure adds an element of ???  however, here is where the fertile soil of conscious co-creation lives. As a simple twist of perception - it turns out an elevated aspect of fear is ... excitement, as is anticipation, as is expectancy, as is doubt danger doom and gloom. From this perspective, it really is a matter of choice, isn’t it?

I’ve learned whenever my head and personality run my life, by making the decisions that direct my actions, (always from a self-serving standpoint), the results are almost always complicated and less than preferable. Whenever I lead with need because I’m afraid my interests won’t get gratified, I send out a vibe that’s pushing forward to get my way. Always and only to get my needs met.

Whenever I’ve done this, the others I was engaging with were energetically pushed back on their heels, causing them to protect and hold themselves tighter. I’d know this because I always felt an immediate, gut-clinch grip in my own belly. (The curse and gift of an empath.) My Soul connection would quickly shut off and my intuition close down, restricting my overall presence and awareness. Instead of being in the moment, co-creating and trying to find resolution together, it subtly became me vs. them. In the past this wouldn’t bother me if only because I was mollified believing I was right and in charge. Some consolation.

As I’ve gotten farther along in this life, the small victories over others have lost their appeal. The singular sense of life being solely about I Me Mine has thankfully lessened appreciably. The dreaded malady so many people chronically suffer from - Meitis - has been ongoingly cleansed from my system. The place in me that has always looked out for number 1, MEEEEEEEE, the aspect of my personality that constantly felt there was never enough to reach my mouth, no longer tells me this is so. I refuse this lie to run my life.

Regardless of being the last of three boys growing up lowest in the preverbal pecking order, I felt I had to grab my food from the center of the table, believing unless I did, I’d be left hungry. This of course wasn’t true but belief systems aren’t always rooted in fact. They are interpretive entities, existing independently from actual reality, although inevitably, end up creating our lives from the inside out. 

This is where I choose to see the state of conscious awareness I am or am not in, in meeting each moment of my life. I either feel a lift in my Heartspace or a tug in my gut. In this way, my belly wisdom always tells me the truth.

The old parts of me rooted in fear and self-doubt have been the hard grist of the mill of my personal awakening. The very wounds that helped form my erroneous belief systems are the greatest doorways of my healing. They all hold the Blessings that allow me to face my self with an open and awakened Heart, shifting the life currents that, as always, are an intimate reflection of my state of self Love.  

The Awakened Sacred Masculine knows to grip first in fear to meet any moment, especially a challenging one, will always intensify the discomfort at hand. Not necessarily a hero am I, though I've seen enough feel-good movies to know the person who comes out the winner has had to face their darkness and still make the enlightened choice. Leading with need in fear will never allow this to happen.

... to be continued ...

PS I am offering my Heart Tantra session work here in the NY area for all those interested in experiencing and receiving world-class bodywork and Advanced Energy Healing. I also read The Akashic Records and as written previously, do Soul recovery work as well. Please consult my web site heartantra.com and The Attunement Session for more info on my services.

PPS If you felt moved, inspired, touched, supported, annoyed, or anything else after reading this post, please let me know. I really do appreciate your comments and feedback. It’s easy and only takes a minute.  Click on 'comments' or 'no comments' below. Also, if you feel inspired to share this with another, please do so!

Thank You

Surfing The Underworld - part 2

Perhaps a bit of clarification is called for … the term Underworld is ripe for misinterpretation and then some. It has different meanings for different people, however, I refer to it as a separate Spirit world unto itself, as real in it's reality as ours is to us. I want to be clear to convey the meaning here so as to build a bridge for you to follow across to where I travel in these inner explorations. In these recent inner journeys, I’ve witnessed vast realms of dominion, most commonly referred to as ‘Hell’ or the Hell Realms in many if not all, religious and cultural traditions.

 

I know I know, there’s so much weird conditioning around this concept, it’s easy to just switch off based on all the dogmatic and fear based indoctrinations many of us have had to endure in our earlier years. However, this being said – my experience is there are indeed incredible, nearly unlimited realities of consciousness that are extremely hellish in every imaginable way - and some you simply can’t. These are worlds created to do exactly what they do and profoundly enough, serve a higher purpose as well

No, they aren’t of the commonly depicted images, where red devils in horns and huge pitchforks are standing guard over the poor unfortunates who, sentenced to suffer for all eternity, toast away in the searing flames of retribution, all because they messed up so bad while alive. In fact, the whole perception of ‘being sentenced’ by an outer authority - like God - is totally incorrect, or rather the belief that another holds ultimate judgment over us, certainly is. 

Yes, there is ‘life review’ after we die, leave our body and pass over to the Spirit worlds. We do sit before a counsel of advisers, actually our higher team of Spiritual consultants if you will, that watch with us as we review our recent life. These Beings are always with us as a more evolved part of us, although have little direct influence as we go about our Earthly lives. They simply witness (as if that’s such a simple thing to do) and in colloquial terms, hold space as we go about our business of evolving in human form, moving along on our Spiritual journeys.

Whatever sentencing we receive is done by ourselves, our own Souls. We decide our next course of action, our next form of experience that serves our sense of what’s required or requested of us in our own evolutionary process Home. In short: we as Souls chose where we go next to fulfill our individual and collective destinies. No hand holds the reins over us and thereby determines our path. Only we do. 

That being said, if upon review, we deem our previous life’s choices and behaviors extreme enough (ie. painful to life – to ourselves or others), we can direct our next 'life' (with approval of our council of advisers) to be in places that admonish with relative to extreme severity and intention of purging us of our perceived misdoings. Yes, it sure looks a lot like punishment, because to be sure, some Souls feel they need drastic measures to scrub themselves clean.

And for some Souls, they really do. In the ever turning karmic wheel, balancing the endless emanations of cause and effect, our actions do have immediate and continued impact. What we do really does matter and touches others in ways we can hardly imagine. This goes especially so for ourselves – we are intimately impacted by how we act and in many ways, would be very surprised and perhaps shocked to know how we affect others.

In the moments after we look back upon our last life's Earth actions, we send our Souls onto the next experience we feel will clear our slate (if enough bad shit has taken place), allowing us to progress on our way. These Hell realm realities are places our conscious and unconscious collective has created to welcome us to our redemption or what we believe will help heal and deliver us to our ultimate liberation. These places are absolutely real, if only because we feel we need them to help transform us back to a closer fit of our Soul's original, pristine nature.

Get it? The Underworlds are self-imposed experiences we hope will help us work out our salvation, not as commonly believed, places we are sentenced to suffer, having been judged by a malevolent, rueful god. In this regard, we are always masters of our individual providence and largely end up where we decide to go. Just like in this Earth School classroom we call our lives. Just because we leave our bodies doesn't mean we stop being real.

To take up the story of how I was invited into these realms in the first place, all while sitting long hours on this last meditation retreat ~ where I was thereby instructed to locate my dead cousin Beth ~ I immediately noticed a guide had appeared by my side, requesting to take me to her as well as coach me in the ways of this unusual endeavor being asked of me. In effect, I was being tutored to work ongoingly in this capacity as a releaser and liberator of Souls, long held in these otherworldly and often isolated states of purgatory and perdition.

Very much like a virtual version in those sci-fi movies that take the viewer into deeper levels in the Earth, traveling into and through subterranean passages, passing through the various layers of planetary, substrata matter. Except these Underworld places are very to really, really funky. In fact, just plain nasty! Whatever you can possibly envision, it looks like this – after all, these realities are the product of our collective imaginations, long having been fed throughout history by countless individuals and their ancient cultural beliefs.

After setting our intention to go to my cousin and passing through various bizarre scenes too complicated to describe, we arrived at Beth’s side. What I saw was that she (actually her Soul though still contained in a human like image or form) was suspended vertically in a crystalline, glass or filament-like web of sorts. She was utterly quiet, held in a state of profound stillness. She wasn’t suffering, rather hovering in place in a completely insulated, isolated and protected state.

There was a slight glimmer of recognition between us, a tiny indication of my presence in her energy field … from my mind came the sentence: it’s now time to move on Beth, it’s time to come back Home … we didn’t speak or dialog as much as exchange impressions … when she responded - I’m not ready yet - I feel too sad~fragile~wounded~vulnerable … I looked to my side and my guide, nodding it’s head, indicating me to speak saying as before: it’s time to move on dear Heart and leave this place now … slowly she realized the implication of this, comprehending her time had indeed come to progress on, leaving this state of void-like nothingness behind … as soon as she accepted this, she was surrounded by her Spirit helpers. They in turn, brought her out of the suspended state, guiding her onto her next ‘station’ for her continued healing.

We were taken to what appeared like an infirmary, where she was placed in a healing pod or capsule of Light. She was surrounded in moving energy fluids that soothed her Spiritual tissues (describing all this gets a bit tricky …) beginning to draw out the deeply embedded pain long held within her. She lay horizontal, placed in a setting that was incredibly peaceful and serene, allowing her to reconfigure back into a state of wholeness once again. The wounding in her was considerable, especially in her yoni and Heart areas.

I was instructed just to observe and pay attention to the process of energetic rehabilitation underway. I was told I could come back to visit her from time to time, however, my work was complete and I could go on my way. After leaving Beth, I wanted to reconnect with my mother’s presence again and instantly, was by her side. When I looked into her fathomless eyes, I heard: you have to go see George now - he being her eldest brother and Beth’s father in her last life. My mother was very insistent in her request, so off my guide and I went ... 

I immediately thought - Wow - this is really getting interesting! My guide and I went into a very different environment, coming to a location that by no means felt anything like Beth’s previous web-like resting place. His situation was located in the very dark terminal zone for Souls who (felt they) really fucked up, big time. There was a thick, clinging loathful heaviness to this place that bespoke of horrific crimes against the very basic decency of humanity.

I found my uncle’s Spirit residing in honeycomb like cage, held in an enormous series of intertwining dwellings, all in successive rows upon rows … obviously a place where a lot of beings sought seclusion in their suffering and pain. It was like a reject cell block from Dante’s inferno, all seething with the undercurrent of immense regret, guilt and shame.

Upon locating his self-created domicile, I called into George saying: it’s time to leave this place; it’s time to move on now. The wail of his Spirit attesting to not having suffered enough was like opening a closed car left out in the Sun where 10 people inside had been farting for hours. It was a blast furnace of remorse, a wave of grief that was beyond breathtaking …

I realized just being present in my role of ally and guide, while resonating in compassion and benevolence shifted the energy of this hellish situation and allowed my uncle’s Spirit to begin the task of leaving his cell. As soon as he made the decision to release himself, he too was surrounded by guardian Spirits and taken to yet another station where he was incubated in a container or pod of Light.

Interestingly enough, he was held upright, vertical in position. There was a more serious quality to his reconfiguration and watched over with focused intent and purpose. I spoke with him, reassuring that all was well and he would be secluded here for a while … he understood the circumstances and humbly and sincerely thanked me.

How to frame any of this, I mean really? As I witnessed all this unfolding, I saw many things inside me or rather scenes I was present in - from very different settings in not only lands but times far distant and removed. Like watching a movie where I, the primary character was performing a unique task well trained and seasoned for, had agreed to step into and perform a service that I am asked to continue doing.

Tracing back to my studies with Osiris during my training in Sedona in '97, I believe my present life involvement with this particular archetype speaks of the importance of his significance and abilities relevant to my own. Having had a fair number of major life-shifts, strong shamanic style over the years, I’ve come to rest more and more in knowing in not knowing though believing, like the tarot’s Fool,                                        

as long as I trust ~

All

     Will

           Be

               Well 

I was asked if I would willingly continue this appointed service and readily agreed. I was then given the opportunity to identify anyone else in my life I would like to attend to and a very dear old friend from high school came to mind. Allan had been my best friend back then and a number of years later had killed himself, eating a 12 gauge, blowing his head off ... and that's a story for another time ~ 

... to be continued ...

PS I am offering my Heart Tantra session work here in the NY area for all those interested in experiencing and receiving world-class bodywork and Advanced Energy Healing. I also read The Akashic Records and as writen here, do Soul recovery work as well. Please consult my web site heartantra.com and The Attunement Session for more info on my services.

PPS If you felt moved, inspired, touched, supported, annoyed, or anything else after reading this post, please let me know. I really do appreciate your comments and feedback. It’s easy and only takes a minute.  Click on 'comments' or 'no comments' below. Also, if you feel inspired to share this with another, please do so!

Thank You!

Surfing The Underworld

Surfing the pathways of the Underworld is an acquired talent, if not a unique gift long developed in less than preferable circumstances. Let me explain: while on this last meditation retreat, sitting silently up to10 hours each day, among the subjects I chose to explore in efforts to clear and bring resolution to, was any and all relationship karma bags still holding any dark nugget gems for me. 

Like pockets in garments left locked in a forgotten closet, these cachets of ‘difficult experiences’ have contained parts of me I’d left behind, not able to attend and properly deal with when they occurred. During our Soul’s long journey through form and existence, in order for us to endure some of the horrific experiences we’ve lived through, we’ve had to splinter off parts of ourselves in order to survive.

In so doing, we’ve all left parts of ourselves by the wayside, often in very far off realities. We do this because the enormity of the overwhelm and often blinding traumas were so great, we couldn’t possibly integrate the experience into our psychic and emotional framework - and still keep a safe sense of self. Denial does have its benefits after all. Out of necessity, we employ this strategy to keep from imploding beyond repair and going hopelessly insane. For some of us, even this hasn’t worked very well.

Some weren’t able to do this or the overwhelm was too great to even separate and detach from. We just weren’t able to cut off the painful experience like the guy who sawed through his forearm while trapped alone in a hole on a hiking accident. Or the wild animal that chews off it's leg in a trap to keep from being captured and killed. Those urban dwellers of us often come across people who haven’t been able to make it back from some of these life traumas. We notice them out of the corner of our eyes living on the fringe, homeless on the street.

Never think you’re too far above them, you’ve very likely been there too. While on this retreat, deep in stillness and traveling in the inner realms, I asked to have any relationship I still had karmic leftovers with brought up to view. I asked to clear every single one I could, all in efforts to sweep clean my energetic landscape, once and for all. To go where Spirit is offering me passage requires I lighten my load as much possible. I’d venture to say this is so for all of us.

During one of these sessions, both my parent’s Souls clearly appeared, each patiently waiting for me to face them and essentially open their/our energy ‘package.’ I chose my mother first. She appeared to me as a teenager, in a likeness I’d never seen, she having had me much later in her mid-30’s. Of course, I asked how she was and how to proceed. See looked me Lovingly in the eyes and said in all sincerity, I had to go see Beth.

All families have their hidden, disturbing and painful histories. There are near countless experiences that form the matrix of our familial tapestries, both uplifting and a great many, not so. This is an understatement, to say the least. I remember not so long ago, when our collective awareness was first flooded with the wave of sexual abuse incidents becoming more publicly known.

Interesting enough, it became a social trend. In accordance with these Turning of The Ages, which insist upon bringing up all deception and duplicity previously hidden behind the veils of propriety and conformity, all coming out into plain view. Thus, all the political, financial, religious etc. etc. scandals being exposed on the international stage for all to see. About time too, wouldn’t you say? With many subjects held in strictest taboo - and rightfully so, incest still ranks near the top of the most heinous and atrocious of all.

In my journey of Awakening and the return approach Home, I’m finding every and all stones left unturned in my particular karmic minefield having to be turned over, observed, embraced and most often simply forgiven. Only then do they successfully dissolve and release from me. In my work with others, this has proven to be exceptionally supportive is assisting others in their passages to their own Promised Land.

I've also found, it’s also essential to gleam the jewels contained within each and every fortuitous and mishapful moment along the way – each experience has added to the treasure trove of my consciousness accrued. Nothing was for naught and no part of us can remain left behind. All experiences have great value and a prized place in our Soul's firmament. To turn away from our painful pasts means we're still trapped in them and can't Spiritually progress further. Speaking which ~ have you ever wondered who all you’ve ever been, along the circuitous way of your Soul’s growth? Haven’t you sometimes imagined what lives you’ve lived in getting here?

And are you sure you really want to know? Can your sense of self even handle the flip side of your karmic history? Of course, one of the obvious indicators from our pasts often to always appears in present life circumstances. We never have too far to look to see ourselves, especially these days. This being said ~ many years ago while in Sedona, I was initiated into The Awakening the Priest Process, an offshoot of The Awakening The Priestess Process. This revolutionary and evolutionary nine month gestation journey was developed by my then mentor, Nicole Christene, a most remarkable visionary shaman in her own right.

At the time, she was associated with The Fellowship of Isis and developed this Process loosely under the auspices of this Fellowship. As the name would indicate, there was a deep association and connection to Egyptian cosmology. As us seven men embarked on our own passages through this nearly year-long Process, we tapped into and called upon Isis’ counterpart, brother and husband partner, Osiris, to help guide our way. He being, as perhaps you may know, the Egyptian god of the Underworld.

Quick recap, long story short: his evil brother Set captured him, sliced and diced him into many pieces, scattering his remains all over Egypt. His Beloved, Isis, found all the bits (accept one) and reassembled him back together. To this end, Osiris is considered the god of death and rebirth and thus, the Underworld. Whew, talk about an abbreviated version of some seriously ancient mythology! 

Anyway, back to modern times, a la 1997 – during our Awakening The Priest (the Sacred Masculine) Process, we would call into the Osiris mysteries and ask to be escorted along our respective paths. It seemed like a good idea at the time and like the other men, I was following Nicole’s lead. As part of my ongoing training, she taught me many things, not the least of which is how to open Living or Sacred Ceremony for myself and others.

I took to this aspect willingly and enthusiastically. I was a natural, surly having done all this in previous lifetimes. It turns out I had, big time. Another blog will attest to these lifetimes spent in service of said Underworld, however, to keep this one moving along, I’ll return to the meditation hall of two weeks ago ... 

When my mother directed me to attend to dear Beth, a cousin who tragically committed suicide a number of years ago, I suspected my previous training would come into use. Dear Beth had been sexually abused as a child by her father, my mother’s eldest brother. This became known to me many years later from a comment made in passing by my mother. At the time, this wasn't a subject that got much air time in my family and was quickly swept under the carpet, filed away for later review. When Beth passed, I tuned into her and felt the enormity of her suffering and pain and realized as the saying goes, she was indeed in a much better place.

Some of us just can’t reconcile the horrors we’ve experienced and karmic implications aside, she (as do we all) did what she had to do. When I was instructed to go find her, a guide appeared at my side saying it would take me to her. However this may sound, I was getting all this information first hand, without provocation or fevered imagination at work. I was seeing all this as it appeared, in response to my desire to serve my family's freedom as best I could.

I knew I was being called to perform a service that I was well trained for. I gladly accepted the request of my mother and set off to find dear Beth.

… to be continued … part 2 to follow …

PS I am offering my Heart Tantra session work here in the NY area for all those interested in experiencing and receiving world-class bodywork and Advanced Energy Healing. Please consult my web site heartantra.com and The Attunement Session for more info on my services.

PPS If you felt moved, inspired, touched, supported, annoyed, or anything else after reading this post, please let me know. I really do appreciate your comments and feedback. It’s easy and only takes a minute.  Click on 'comments' or 'no comments' below. Also, if you feel inspired to share this with another, please do so!

Thank You!