Surfing The Underworld

Surfing the pathways of the Underworld is an acquired talent, if not a unique gift long developed in less than preferable circumstances. Let me explain: while on this last meditation retreat, sitting silently up to10 hours each day, among the subjects I chose to explore in efforts to clear and bring resolution to, was any and all relationship karma bags still holding any dark nugget gems for me. 

Like pockets in garments left locked in a forgotten closet, these cachets of ‘difficult experiences’ have contained parts of me I’d left behind, not able to attend and properly deal with when they occurred. During our Soul’s long journey through form and existence, in order for us to endure some of the horrific experiences we’ve lived through, we’ve had to splinter off parts of ourselves in order to survive.

In so doing, we’ve all left parts of ourselves by the wayside, often in very far off realities. We do this because the enormity of the overwhelm and often blinding traumas were so great, we couldn’t possibly integrate the experience into our psychic and emotional framework - and still keep a safe sense of self. Denial does have its benefits after all. Out of necessity, we employ this strategy to keep from imploding beyond repair and going hopelessly insane. For some of us, even this hasn’t worked very well.

Some weren’t able to do this or the overwhelm was too great to even separate and detach from. We just weren’t able to cut off the painful experience like the guy who sawed through his forearm while trapped alone in a hole on a hiking accident. Or the wild animal that chews off it's leg in a trap to keep from being captured and killed. Those urban dwellers of us often come across people who haven’t been able to make it back from some of these life traumas. We notice them out of the corner of our eyes living on the fringe, homeless on the street.

Never think you’re too far above them, you’ve very likely been there too. While on this retreat, deep in stillness and traveling in the inner realms, I asked to have any relationship I still had karmic leftovers with brought up to view. I asked to clear every single one I could, all in efforts to sweep clean my energetic landscape, once and for all. To go where Spirit is offering me passage requires I lighten my load as much possible. I’d venture to say this is so for all of us.

During one of these sessions, both my parent’s Souls clearly appeared, each patiently waiting for me to face them and essentially open their/our energy ‘package.’ I chose my mother first. She appeared to me as a teenager, in a likeness I’d never seen, she having had me much later in her mid-30’s. Of course, I asked how she was and how to proceed. See looked me Lovingly in the eyes and said in all sincerity, I had to go see Beth.

All families have their hidden, disturbing and painful histories. There are near countless experiences that form the matrix of our familial tapestries, both uplifting and a great many, not so. This is an understatement, to say the least. I remember not so long ago, when our collective awareness was first flooded with the wave of sexual abuse incidents becoming more publicly known.

Interesting enough, it became a social trend. In accordance with these Turning of The Ages, which insist upon bringing up all deception and duplicity previously hidden behind the veils of propriety and conformity, all coming out into plain view. Thus, all the political, financial, religious etc. etc. scandals being exposed on the international stage for all to see. About time too, wouldn’t you say? With many subjects held in strictest taboo - and rightfully so, incest still ranks near the top of the most heinous and atrocious of all.

In my journey of Awakening and the return approach Home, I’m finding every and all stones left unturned in my particular karmic minefield having to be turned over, observed, embraced and most often simply forgiven. Only then do they successfully dissolve and release from me. In my work with others, this has proven to be exceptionally supportive is assisting others in their passages to their own Promised Land.

I've also found, it’s also essential to gleam the jewels contained within each and every fortuitous and mishapful moment along the way – each experience has added to the treasure trove of my consciousness accrued. Nothing was for naught and no part of us can remain left behind. All experiences have great value and a prized place in our Soul's firmament. To turn away from our painful pasts means we're still trapped in them and can't Spiritually progress further. Speaking which ~ have you ever wondered who all you’ve ever been, along the circuitous way of your Soul’s growth? Haven’t you sometimes imagined what lives you’ve lived in getting here?

And are you sure you really want to know? Can your sense of self even handle the flip side of your karmic history? Of course, one of the obvious indicators from our pasts often to always appears in present life circumstances. We never have too far to look to see ourselves, especially these days. This being said ~ many years ago while in Sedona, I was initiated into The Awakening the Priest Process, an offshoot of The Awakening The Priestess Process. This revolutionary and evolutionary nine month gestation journey was developed by my then mentor, Nicole Christene, a most remarkable visionary shaman in her own right.

At the time, she was associated with The Fellowship of Isis and developed this Process loosely under the auspices of this Fellowship. As the name would indicate, there was a deep association and connection to Egyptian cosmology. As us seven men embarked on our own passages through this nearly year-long Process, we tapped into and called upon Isis’ counterpart, brother and husband partner, Osiris, to help guide our way. He being, as perhaps you may know, the Egyptian god of the Underworld.

Quick recap, long story short: his evil brother Set captured him, sliced and diced him into many pieces, scattering his remains all over Egypt. His Beloved, Isis, found all the bits (accept one) and reassembled him back together. To this end, Osiris is considered the god of death and rebirth and thus, the Underworld. Whew, talk about an abbreviated version of some seriously ancient mythology! 

Anyway, back to modern times, a la 1997 – during our Awakening The Priest (the Sacred Masculine) Process, we would call into the Osiris mysteries and ask to be escorted along our respective paths. It seemed like a good idea at the time and like the other men, I was following Nicole’s lead. As part of my ongoing training, she taught me many things, not the least of which is how to open Living or Sacred Ceremony for myself and others.

I took to this aspect willingly and enthusiastically. I was a natural, surly having done all this in previous lifetimes. It turns out I had, big time. Another blog will attest to these lifetimes spent in service of said Underworld, however, to keep this one moving along, I’ll return to the meditation hall of two weeks ago ... 

When my mother directed me to attend to dear Beth, a cousin who tragically committed suicide a number of years ago, I suspected my previous training would come into use. Dear Beth had been sexually abused as a child by her father, my mother’s eldest brother. This became known to me many years later from a comment made in passing by my mother. At the time, this wasn't a subject that got much air time in my family and was quickly swept under the carpet, filed away for later review. When Beth passed, I tuned into her and felt the enormity of her suffering and pain and realized as the saying goes, she was indeed in a much better place.

Some of us just can’t reconcile the horrors we’ve experienced and karmic implications aside, she (as do we all) did what she had to do. When I was instructed to go find her, a guide appeared at my side saying it would take me to her. However this may sound, I was getting all this information first hand, without provocation or fevered imagination at work. I was seeing all this as it appeared, in response to my desire to serve my family's freedom as best I could.

I knew I was being called to perform a service that I was well trained for. I gladly accepted the request of my mother and set off to find dear Beth.

… to be continued … part 2 to follow …

PS I am offering my Heart Tantra session work here in the NY area for all those interested in experiencing and receiving world-class bodywork and Advanced Energy Healing. Please consult my web site heartantra.com and The Attunement Session for more info on my services.

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Thank You!