Because it isn't going anywhere. The present moment is the only place where Spirit is alive, where God lives and your life takes place. This is the singular point of entry into the deep mysteries of your Heart and the resting place of awakening consciousness in full flight to the Divine as you. The Sacred's doorway into the essence of What you truly are is eternally trapped inside this moment, over and over again. To transform your ego personality's individual sense of who you are - size, shape, sex, culture, beliefs - you name it, this present moment will have to become your home away from Home, in fact, your only home at all.
When I was first introduced to meditation, my Spiritual practice was just one small part of my life. It was a segmented time slot I sat quietly, following my breath trying the catch the undulating wave of this unfolding moment. However, I was always trying to get someplace else. More stillness, more awareness, more light and especially more Love. Always searching for the crack in wall of my attention so I could climb through it to just rest in the here & now.
It wasn't until many years later when I was face down in my shit, hardly able to blink and breathe at the same time, that I realized since the very second I popped out of my mom, I've been breathing. You think this sounds obvious as indeed it is, however, like with everything else in my life, I'd long taken it for granted.
How could I, if it was the very thing keeping me alive? Like many of us Humans, the basics are often lost on us or at least on me. It took a number Heartbreaking experiences to finally catch my attention to this fact and one at times to my regret, I haven't been able to shake. This Heartspace place has been my haven and hellhole, a refuge in times of confusion and like The Life Of Pi, a floating prison where I could no longer escape this huge, bad ass tiger of my Shadow waiting to devour me.
Ignored, denied and unprocessed emotion eventually turns into our greatest demon if left unmet long enough. Like a women chastised and abused, it is a fine line between Love and hate and sooner or later, we all wake up in a hospital bed bandaged from head to toe asking how the fuck did I get here?
Speaking of which - if you remember from a number of blogs ago, I'd just stepped into the sweet embrace of a women I'd recently met and after a couple of meals together and message/healing sessions exchanged, made our way to her bed. Ah, the bright bloom glistening on the rose. Often the thorns are missed or passed over in the euphoria of those first kisses ... and yet always again, the present moment has a way of sneaking up on me.
With all the Ascension hoo ha that for years has been my daily prayer, asking to become whole and complete in my Sacred Union consciousness, where all apparent opposites within me merge and join seamlessly, the final voice in my life has shown it won't let anything - I mean anything - stand in the way of my Soul's destiny being fulfilled. Period, end of story.
As well we all know, the mojo juice felt in the clinch and the currents surfed through sexual play are the closest most Humans ever cum to feeling God in our body. This really is a shame because It's always out there and within here, with each and every breath we breathe. My quick visit with this woman to Loveland snuggled deep along Nooky Lane, took a sharp turn last night when again, after the first few exchanges together, the hidden spooks emerged from the Shadows and insisted on being dealt with. This please remember has absolutely nothing to do with his Lovely lady mentioned. She is a wonderful person who just has another path to take. As do I.
That's the ever pain in the ass small print on the Awakening Contract, not only can't you run and ever really hide once you commit but once you call in to become fully conscious, every possible morsel and crumb of distress rises to the surface, like a turd in the bathtub.
And so it goes. The transformational force of consciousness will always have its way. Nowadays, the Universe's insistence is totally relentless and non-negotiable. Whatever this final Home stretch of 2012 is all about, for me anyway, the boat is leaving the dock and in my sprint to then leap onto the departing deck, I'm air born yelling WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Over the years, I've seem so many people, women especially, have to leave their former lives behind to catch the train out of dodge. Their spouses, partners, children, jobs and homes were the chips the Universe required them to be willing to pay to transform their former self into the embodied Self we all eternally are. The breathtaking courage to evolve demanded they cast off into the unknown, questing to realize their Soul's vision at all costs. It always humbles me to see these women rewrite the script of humanity so long chiseled in our collective mass consciousness.
Wow! To keep choosing to continue dancing my piece in this Divine soiree, if only to awaken this guy named Keith so I can play along with all of the front wavers leading the curve, men and women alike, is such a wondrous honor and gift. To have to give up the warm, tight and sweet squeeze to be true to my Destiny is well worth the price.
.. to be continued ...
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