You Be You

Of all the relationship, right to the point sayings, this is my very favorite maxim of all. Honey  U B U.
Simple isn't it? After so many years of bouncing around the outer limits of relationship sanity, occasionally passing through the general vicinity of this Shangra-La promised land, I've come to finally know - ain't nobody going to be changing much to please the other one. It just isn't going to happen or rather, isn't so likely.

You is who you is. Period. Me too. The moment I began taking ultimate (and immediate) responsibility to vigilantly maintain my own self-care consciousness, no matter what, I began letting go of another having to meet my basic emotional needs. Duh! As soon as I identified what those actually were and began addressing the consistent care of my self by doing all I possibly could to attend to my needs in this way, the leading-with-need approach I'd long employed in my life, began to transform, lighten up and fall away.

Living with my self became a whole lot easier, let me say. For me and all those in my life I might add. The Awakened Sacred Masculine is their own go-to guy for themselves and are the first to meet and attend to their own emotional needs. When we do this for ourselves, the entire drama/trauma feedback loop is broken, once and for all. This frees up our relationship field exponentially, allowing all present to just be what you is. My life became so much simpler, easier and way more enjoyable when I chose to do this. The ongoing push-pull pressure lessened and the insistence for another to change to fit the needs I wasn't meeting for myself, released as well. Yes!

Throughout my life I'd so often heard from former partners, I was just never satisfied. I eventually (after the bloom fell off the rose), begin to focus on and see what wasn't working in the relationship - of course, creating more of the same, only adding to the murky mix between us. From there, it was a downward rolling snowball of discontent which regrettably, I was rarely shy in voicing. In this, as with every other area of my life, I've learned to do what I want to do from having done things I never want to do again. Hard Knocks Life School 101.

Unless both individuals are conscious participants, first in their own self care, well being Life Awareness Program, the ship of relating quickly fills up with bilge and sinks like a stone. I've watched them all go down. This isn't to say there weren't lots of fun times had by all, however sooner or later, the feelings of my own dissatisfaction began taking over our mutual, common ground that eventually pushed us both off the playing field. Over and over again.

It was like a unconsciousness virus that never ceased to replicate itself wherever I went, always infecting the relationship I was currently in. From my perspective, I think it's fair to say, a lot of us men have chosen to awaken if only because we got tired of seeing the back ends of former girlfriends/partners and wives leaving our lives. The vacuum was just too big, too deep and too cavernous a space to keep filling with our own shit anymore. It's one thing to live complacently in it all by ourselves and quite another to keep having it force and push away the Love we so desperately want. It gets real lonely inside when the hollow echo is all we hear in our Heartspaces ...

This comes into play each and every day with my SweetHeart Ms Mel. She being one of these strong, Self directed, empowered women - who are forging a whole new feminine presence on the planet, in effect leading the way for all of us to do the same for ourselves - is like driving a really expensive race car. I find there are no wasted actions involved and everything counts. There are no moments of unconscious fall-out or stupid shit passed along that goes unquestioned or ignored. The steering is to exact, the ride too balanced and the octane too high for this to play between us. Good thing, because I'm the same way.

My complete intention in respect to her is for her to be totally herself. As she is, however she is. Just the way she is, always. What I do with all this is completely up to me in response. In fact, it's only because I first anchored this priority in for myself that allows me to hold to this with her. The space I co-create with her is a reflection of that which I hold in myself. Yes, there are necessary agreements we identify and speak to - which of course helps build trust between us, however as free agents we both are willing participants in our co-created Loving dance together.

A wall flower I am not. Nor is she by any stretch of the imagination. I want her to be the full-on Goddess she is, with all her Humanness intact and functioning all the while. I've learned in order to keep the Love alive, pulsing and potent between us, I have to allow, nay, encourage her to be as real as she already is. Believe me, she will be anyway and would never ever settle for anything less. However, by the conscious spaciousness inside of myself, I invite her to keep stepping into and living in a very new relationship paradigm for herself and from what I keep hearing, she Loves this a lot.

I had a girlfriend once who stated she would change her dress for me or use different spices to cook our meals, however 'I will not change who I am for you Keith. This is who I am, have spent my life becoming and even if I could, I would never change just to please you. If you have a problem with this, you need to make a new decision here." I initially was taken a bit back by this. Wow, right to the point. (These New Millennium Women ...!) And yet over the years, the admission and her self declaration really stuck with me - if only because, she was so comfortable with and in herself.

And so it is with me and Ms Mel. Whenever she acts or says something that my buttons get pushed by, I have to remember his maxim, Darling, You Be You. It releases her from my wishes preferred or personal desires fulfilled and invites me to come rest in my Heartspace once again. Believe me, it's a whole lot simpler this way with much less drama to get snagged by or hurt feelings to process later. It's just easier to stay consciously present and grounded in my Vertical Power Current and sovereign in my connection to Source. This alone is my number one priority in life.





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