Really? Are you sure ... because I'm so used to struggling striving searching along my way in life. How will I know if I'm still alive if I stop doing the things I thought I had to do that would give me more life? - If I just did these things more or did them better or longer or just something (always) different than what I'm already doing now. Maybe this will finally make a real difference for me. I wonder ...
Case in point: For all of my life, I
felt I needed to prove myself - first to my parents and two older brothers, my
primary care givers or tried to's - but mostly forever to myself, always trying
to make up for whatever disappointments others felt with me or about me in
their own lives. However I got this imprint, I did. The youngest in my family,
I was born into and took on a very specific karmic role for the rest of us. I was the Shadow catcher of my unit
and caught a lot of shit because of it.
No one gets out of their childhood
untouched and me no worse than so many others. I fully believe way far better than
most anyone else all over this planet. In this way, I know I Am Always Blessed.
Like everyone, the dynamics of our familial dance are certainly complex, often
if not always we dance our specific steps with those in our lives doing the
same for themselves. We are all born to do this until we discover the deeper moves
that more accurately reflect our Soul’s direction. It sure gets confusing but
hey, no one said it was supposed to be easy - just worth it.
It really is a trip. Once an
alchemist, always the same, shaman healer too. We are all so amazingly diverse,
with beyond compare journeys and histories, filled with Magic, Blessings and
Gifts from the Gods … along of course, with all the other things felt along the
way that made living on Earth so bloody painful, Heartbreaking and filled with
loss. Livin' in 3D can really be a bitch.
Can anybody even possibly imagine
what life on this planet has been mostly like all throughout recorded history?
Except for the extreme few, a very tough place indeed. Although we men
have certainly killed and been killed all along the way, womenkind has
absolutely long suffered the most. No question. From all of our Spiritual ancestries birthed
into form, we've all suffered greatly for having these Sacred Gifts and paid
the ultimate price many many times over. We have all suffered being What we
are. That is -
UP UNTIL NOW
This is the first time in recorded
history women all over the world are being honored, valued and respected - for
being women. In many previous walks of life, for such a long time, this has
been a curse. FYI: today is a brand new day upon this planet; where women can
actually hold power, be powerful and empowered and command power over others.
This is unprecedented, don't you think? Yes,
it is. By Divine design, this also gives this part in us men permission to
do the same. To fully awaken, come bodaciously alive and begin living from the
blended, interdependent consciousness of our complimentary whole Soul self
leading the way. From this perspective, I've come to believe:
To be one
with God you first have to be whole within your self.
However for me, playing the Shadow
catcher part from infancy was really tricky, like for all of us in our own lives,
it was a full time job and usually well beyond my comfort or control. It's a
wonder any of us made it this far. Really. Personally speaking, I came into
this life with an extra Soul karma work load to put onto the table, a catch up
jump ahead, stop pass go card. If I did the work necessary, I would progress
and evolve. If I honored my agreement, Spirit would honor It's own. This
however, does not in any way possible preempt the 55+ years it's taken where I
mostly struggled constantly, in one way or another, my whole life.
You can never take a Holiday away from
yourself although all those extended happy hours years ago, I sure tried to
toast them away each and every night. Don't it often take a long way around
indirectly to return back and face it direct, I swear. Does anyone else out in
where-ever-you-are land feel this way I wonder …
I was recently asked to sum up in
one sentence what the healing journey Home for men is all about ... and after
walking Ms Mel down the snow covered street to the nearby laundromat a couple
of days ago, being the guy carrying the big bag, and flashing to feeling all
the metaphoric weight of all the baggage I've hauled throughout my life and
knowing the trick and grist for a man is having enough intention, stamina,
tenacity and Grace (especially) to face all the funky old, ill fitting belief
system garments and emotional woundology remnants you're gonna have to reach
into, sift out and release for you to finally forgive, transform and heal yourself
– only however as a result of having gone through your whole entire pain body,
dirty grab bag - just to get where there's hardly nothing left. At least no big
shit, anyway.
Herein lives the Sacred Masculine: The very bag itself, the empty space within, the huge
capacity it can hold along with its quiet strength and still and simple
Presence is what I Am choosing to embody in my life, here & now and speak
to in this blog. All this and much more makes up a consciously Awakened man.
You'll know it when you see it. You’ll feel it too, at least conscious women
certainly do. Whether a man is still living from his wounded inner child with
all the false ego and bravado forcing the way or has he in fact healed all the old
lingering disappointments, disillusionments and despair places within, is
plainly obvious to an Awakened mind and Heart.
This one has walked into and
successfully passed through his deepest Shadowlands and come out the other side.
Here he has come to live in sincere self-Love allowing him to finally embody the Sacred in his
life. Is he more clear and present as a result? Has he forgiven himself and all
others in his life? These are the living hallmarks of Awakening for all of us,
gender aside. Are you free of your suffering yet? Is suffering still a way of trying to get
your needs met? (Tell me, how does this work anyway?) Do you continue
repeating the same behaviors you were taught Love looks and feels like, erroneously
imprinted from your childhood and past lives? These very questions have to be
asked and correctly answered to pass through the guardians at the gates of your
Self empowerment and self mastery.
No, we don't have to keep struggling
anymore but we do have do everything possible to swim with the waves rolling through
now. In doing so, I have to keep letting go of the comfort zone of the
shoreline to remain in the center of the flowing stream moving me along.
Believe me, being here in NYC doing my do with getting my work out, while in
conscious relationship with my awakened Sacred Feminine partner Mel, has
certainly amped up my circuitry exponentially. And then some. Just living in
this city is rocket time, living amidst the teaming humanity of us all. Although it's often a feast, it's not always a picnic.
The heights scaled now are simply
breathtaking if only because the fall down is so unimaginable. The way I look
at it, all the years if not lifetimes spent suffering for what I was or what I
wasn't had better pay off now. I Am here to embody a higher, more empowered and
more enlightened life experience. More fun too. You bet I Am. In fact, I won't settle for
anything less. Are you?
... to be continued ...
In my Soul Coach and Heart Tantra
work, I assist people who need a little extra boost in their life and require a
current of fresh Lifeforce to help move you past the old energetic blocks or
emotional wounds and limiting belief systems that, up until now, have held you
back from living the life of your dreams fulfilled. Can you even imagine
what this can feel like? If not, I can help you remember and more important, co-create this in your life
now.
For more information on my work, please view my web site at heartantra.com or contact me directly at heartantra@yahoo.com
PS If you felt moved, inspired,
touched, supported, annoyed, or anything else after reading this post, please
let me know. I really do appreciate your comments and feedback. It’s easy and
only takes a minute. Click on 'comments' or 'no comments' below.
PPS This blog is my 100th
published. YEA!
Thank You so much for reading along.
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