Climbing out of the deep Void ... almost to the day I arrived back in NYC after a powerfully transformational 18 day Holiday get-away in Mexico, I came down with Flu-like symptoms, a week long fever complete with all the accompanying aches and pains associated. I really can't remember having been this knocked out on all levels before in my life. No doubt there were physiological and biological elements involved, however as always the case, there were significant emotional and energetic factors playing out in my feeling so unwell.
The emotional body always influences the physical form and the Spiritual and deeper energetic forces always precedes the mental and emotional bodies. This being said, yes there were physical forces that helped push my body down onto the mat, laying me really low for a full weeks time, yet attentive to the inner realms as I am, I knew all the while there were currents moving into, through and out of me that were the more significant reasons this event took place.
Whenever there is a shifting, clearing, attuning or transformative experience underway, more often than not there will be a physical symptomatic expression that accompanies this passage. This is to say, the body has to adjust to this new influx of energy as well whether through becoming 'ill' or going into some sort of cathartic reaction in kind. It's not always fun and often unpleasant although by no means needs to be difficult. You just gotta go with the flow, let go of how it's going and take the ride all the way through. It's kinda like a roller coaster ride or dropping acid, once in or on you just have to hang on and hope for the best ...
Having had near countless experiences of his nature over the years (having a very Shamanic floor plan to the structure of my life), out of necessity I've learned the tooth that has to be pulled is best let go of. Fighting the pliers that take hold let alone the hand that pulls is always difficult business. Involved is a near constant not knowing of what the fuck is going on in the midst of his kind of passage. 'Why' being one of the most fruitless questions possible to ask, the only inquiry that really applies is how can I best pass through this experience that will deepen my awareness of my opening Heart and further connect me to the God I Am.
The Awakened Sacred Masculine always goes to the quick of the matter and sees everything in his life as an expression of this essential connection - everything plays off of this one fundamental point.
So this is where I sat (or lay like a limp dog), while in my new girlfriend Mel's apartment, holed up in a small place she herself had just moved into the days prior to my coming back. She was impeccable in her care of me, held immaculate space for my process and showed me the women she is throughout our week together ... as no doubt, I showed her in my prolonged pooky state the man I am when way off my game, as it were.
It's easy being on best behavior when the conditions are favorable, kind and sweet. However, when the grunge shows itself is when you really get to see what's under the packaging. And I suppose whatever this year's end (riding out 2012's last Moon cycle) clearing was all about, to be sure it had to do with purging out the remaining remnants of any unreleased energy that no longer serves me and what I'm now here to do.
Throughout last weeks sojourn, the question of what this was kept nibbling away in me. In this regard, not one to follow by rote, blindly moving along step by step, instead having to actually know or rather have a sense of purpose as to why I'm going where I am, I also knew the answers wouldn't show themselves immediately upon my insistent demand. The Void doesn't work that way. It doesn't cough up the goods until the time is ripe and the need to know has fully abated. In emptiness the wisdom is revealed.
All since the big to do of December 21st, I felt the gears of my Universe (or is it Youniverse?), slip and go into free float, like the plug got pulled and the traction of something new and different many of us thought would get underway, just didn't. The Grace of being at Puerto Vallarta (thank you dear Lydia!) added to the wonderment of just drifting along with no where to go and nothing to do ... and yet, being back in NYC (please give me a good reason to be here!) I knew I had to get a new lease of my location agreement to give me the personal perspective and drive to live in this place now.
And yes for me, it is all about doing my Spiritual work. This is where living with a sense of purpose comes in and is a necessary, 100% vital element in my personal game board of life. All else follows this lead and rides in the wake of the current this intention carries in me and my life. To be sure my relationship with dear Ms Mel (however it unfolds) is a reflection of this Soul agreement and in this and all things, my commitment to fulfill my/our higher purpose takes precedence always.
The joy of having been emptied out over this last week in bed has revealed new and larger spaces within that are to be filled in with my personal commitment to excel in what I've come here to do. Just having passed through the first New Moon window of this year (this Friday past), as usual I set my intentions that seed not just this first lunar cycle but the whole year itself, it is all about stepping more fully in my own Sacred Masculine awareness and living from this in more proactive ways.
I will begin offering trainings in Awakening The Sacred Masculine, a profoundly life changing 9 month gestation journey into the deeper mysteries of this powerful process as well as prepare my book Awakening The Sacred Masculine At The Turning Of The Ages for publication. I will continue giving Heart Tantra Soul Attunement sessions and keep the door open to play with others who want to play with me in this regard.
It is all good, it is all now and it is all real.
... to be continued ...
No comments:
Post a Comment