Our Soul's growth and expansion is like this and no, it doesn’t make much sense to our rational thought process but when has this aspect of our minds been such an asset in the Awakening process? This, more often than not, is exactly what gets in our way of our progression.The advantage of consciously and co-creatively working with the lunar cycles, is it affords us the opportunity to realign with our intentionary focus and recommit to our higher purpose, whatever we believe this to be.
As well we
know, each specific lunar period has its own individual qualities,
characteristics and attributes that define it. As the macro always reflects the
micro (and vise a versa), the planetary spheres simply out picture our own
internal Youniverse. Kinda tricky, this. To the attitudes steeped only in ‘just
the facts, mame,’ this makes no sense whatsoever … but there you go. You just can’t
please everybody.
Taking a
larger view of what’s unfolding upon the planet now in these Turning of The Ages, seen in terms of the
evolutionary overview, how can we use the greater timeline cycles of our cosmos to
further our Soul's intentions to do just this, evolve? No doubt, countless books,
articles and web site speak to this far better than I, however, the title of
this post has its own direction to follow that touches into and includes the
larger workings and motions of the unfathomable and undefinable thing we call Awakening.
For the glorious
fools of us that have actually committed to this process, consciously I mean,
we always get way much more than we’ve bargained for. In the fundamental exchange of ‘we get what we
give,’ in order to embody What we already are, the price to pay in full, is all that’s
ever stood in the way of us knowing This is always so – always has been
and always will be. Again, the Divine principle of paradox at play. Go figure …
I once did a
week long, one-on-one retreat intensive with a facilitator in Santa Fe (that
actually felt more like months …) where she explained at the onset, that I
would get 10 ft. from the summit and want to bag it and quit. She predicted, as
had been the case with many if not all her clients, that right when the end was
in sight, I would want to turn back and head back down without having reached my intended goal.
I recognized
the tendency to, if not sabotage, then to lay down, giving up just as the end
comes into view. In many ways, it’s much easier to live with defeat than to create our success. We're more familiar with falling flat. As Paul Simon sang – the closer your destination, the more you keep slip sliding
away ... and yet, in the grand scheme of things, the reason there aren’t more God/Goddess infused people
walking around in plain sight, is because it’s such a bitch to do this.
Neither for
the weak of commitment or lame of will - this is the golden road our Souls
follow that leads us all back Home, whether we consciously know it or not. What this looks like for me these days is, as always, predicated by an inner drive
or less commendable or comfortable, a deep Divine discontent. A more contradictory concept is hard to find although from the mystical Sufi teachings, a priceless gift of grace and most necessary dissatisfaction that forces us to our Soul's destiny.
This instinct feeds our Soul's desire to reach and embody what is permanent and real, not illusory or transitory in nature, as all external phenomena surely is. If I were busy
being satisfied with just living in NYC, doing my thing and getting my personal
needs met, I wouldn’t be interested or have the time to focus on the deeper
themes of my Soul’s growth and my Spiritual Awakening. I’d be consumed and preoccupied with living in the material world.
However and
often much to my disappointment and continuous dismay, the digging necessary to uncover the sweet shine of
my Soul’s radiance has been a very long affair, to say the least. Just like those
archeological expeditions when they uncover an artifact buried in the dirt,
they don’t go in with rotor rooter, jack hammers blasting away, they use tooth
brushes to gently wipe away the accumulated and hardened sediment built up over
the ages.
If you’ve
ever pulled a scab off too soon before it was ready to release, you know the increased pain factor all too well. It just takes time to soak and soften the caked and encrusted
build up of karmic crud that, speaking first person, I’ve amassed along the
way. It’s not just the time factor required, I‘ve come to know we always need the
appropriate allies and accomplices to act as our catalysts or ‘incentives’ to
force us to our growth. As mentioned to be sure, herein
alone lay quite a few ouch moments ...
A once dear
friend from my Sedona days shared a potent, overall life intention with me in
respect to her own Awakening process. She pledged to go to ‘the root of the roots’
of all of her personality’s issues, blocks and resistance, calling in all benevolent forces in her Universe to bring this goal to fruition. At the time, I remember thinking how admirable
of her to do this - how commendable and Spiritually evolved she must be to
willingly call in and anchor this intent.
Over the time
I knew her, her life was in near constant upheaval, like she was singled out to
wear the punishing crown of thorns. After a while, it didn’t seem so advantageous
or desirable after all. In fact, it just looked like too much frickin’ work, a
work load I didn’t especially want to carry myself and quite honestly, still don't
Not that my
personal preference has any say in the matter. In fact, it doesn't at all. Which
reminds me of that priceless scene in Young Frankenstein after the Doc first goes
into the room with the monster, telling his assistant ‘under no circumstances –
no matter what you hear me say – don’t open the door!’ Only to quickly realize
his mistake upon entering, saying in all certain terms through the locked
barrier, slowly, succinctly and deliberately ‘OPEN THE DOOR.’ Little good this
did him, however.
Hey baby, you
can’t get off the roller coaster ride until it pulls back into the station.
What living here in NYC has brought to the surface is how deeply my ego still
wants to run the show and steer the coaster cart of the rest of me. In times of
challenge, I always feel held captive my this part of me that just don’t want
to let go, no matter what the ‘higher’ parts of me say.
(Is it just
me …) but it often seems, the stronger the insights pour through, the more my
ego personality resists. I don't know about the rest of us, but my ego has no intention of ever relinquishing control. I’ve come to know, just like toilet training a little puppy,
a whole lot of patience and perseverance is required to keep the poop off the
carpet and the little fellow feeling well cared for in the process.
If Awakening were only this considerate ... but we know experientially speaking, this just isn't so. The ego doesn't ever go quietly into the night of it's death. At least mine hasn't. This sucker is one of those turbo charged and enhanced, botox injected, ass kicking bionic versions that was built to withstand all efforts to soften its grip.
Sometimes in
life, the Love comes soft and gentle to us, caressing and coddling and at
others, the velvet hand feels a lot like an iron fist, bitch slappin’ me silly. As
with my recent exchanges with my very dear friend Mary ELlen, this last approach
isn’t as preferable but sure did got my attention mighty quick. The Awakened Sacred Masculine goes to where the healing and potential expansion is, not just with what feels comfortable and cozy.
Pledging and aligning
with this root of the roots strategy isn’t for pussys, that’s for sure. Only
warriors need apply cuz if you ain’t already, you will be by Journey’s end. In
times of crunch, I often ask Spirit to please renegotiate my contact. Please! Not unlike Marty Feldman’s
character keeping Dr. Fronkenstein locked closed in tight, my Spiritual guides are
following through with a higher directive here.
If it were up
to my ego, on an evolutionary level, I’d still be playing in the sandbox in nappies with legos believing I was acquiring more power, building my enormous empire over all others. Or at least over those that didn’t
please me. Which of course, would mean just about all the Beloveds who've been such powerful agents of proactive and often unconfortable change in my life. Just goes to show, you can't always believe everything you hear from those telling us what to do. Especially when our egos speak.
... to be continued ...
PS I am offering my Heart Tantra session work here in the NY area for all those interested in experiencing and receiving world-class bodywork and Advanced Energy Healing. Please consult my web site heartantra.com and The Attunement Session for more info on my services.
PPS If you felt moved, inspired, touched, supported, annoyed, or anything else after reading this post, please let me know. I really do appreciate your comments and feedback. It’s easy and only takes a minute. Click on 'comments' or 'no comments' below. Also, if you feel inspired to share this with another, please do so!
Thank You!
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