Questing as in The 'Grail' ~

Whatever gets you out of bed in the morning, motivating you from the most basic, banal or mundane reasons, along with whatever you value most by doing so, this in effect becomes the grail quest in your life. It’s not where you go each day, it’s why you go I’m talking about. What drives you to live your life the ways you do? Your quest’s particular energy, form and substance are largely created by how you live your life. Your metaphoric grail may be a dented, tarnished and ratty tin cup or a glorious, precious goblet of exquisite value. As always in life, it’s a choice. Yours.

For men, our quality of consciousness, degree of integrity and how Heart-centered we live largely defines who we are, if not where we are in our own journeys of awakening. Harsh judgments aside and perhaps too simply stated – either you’re a giver or a taker here and either light is coming through you in your life or you’re sucking it out from others in theirs. On the other hand, you may just be so shut down and cut off from your Sacred that hardly a glimmer of a flicker gets through. On quick observation, this certainly seems the case on the 42^nd St Subway platform late on a long Saturday with all sorts of strange and peculiar beings roaming about.  

For me, it’s quite a bizarre ride being on this particular quest, especially living here in NYC. Which interestingly enough, quest-wise, is one of its core, off-shoot attributes. It has to be way out of the ordinary to qualify in the first place. ‘Normal’ doesn’t count and easy doesn't cut it. Whatever’s incubated inside of me these past many years, first igniting in Sedona in 1996, like a buried, hidden seed, it’s been germinating all the while. I also sense it’s a time-code thing on Earth and fully believe it’s time to Awaken for those who have ears to hear and eyes to see.

On the very deepest of levels, this calling has consistently sought the light of my personal expression - all to birth through me, this go-round. This, however, is not just my solo quest, my trip, my one act play. It’s for all of us now, for those so inclined. I used to often ask, why ever did I sign on for this mission? cuz sometimes I really didn’t know. As a relentless force in my life, it’s never stopped showing me my resistance, limitations and small mindedness, that’s for sure. But hey, that’s how Souls evolve on this planet or at least as I have.

As with so many of our archetypically popular, cultural myths, the lone voice yelling into the wind acting heroically, going against all odds, living their quest has always captured our sincere interest, hasn’t it? Isn’t the classic ‘pulling for the underdog’ our own inner yearnings calling to believe we ourselves possess the right stuff, the magic mojo or simply the hard-edged drive to never ever give up? We certainly lavish worship, money and praise on our favorite film and TV stars, ever associating them with the fictitious characters that made us feel good about ourselves and our lives.

Why on Earth do we pay such ridiculous amounts of $$$ to see grown adults, running around in funny outfits, playing kids games on immaculate athletic fields and courts? All paid for by our collective unconscious need to believe we too could perform so admirably. If only we were them. Talent and looks aside, the winners we reward in our 3D world are those who inevitably overcome adversity, to reach their grail prize. No matter what. After all, who remembers the 2^nd place, runner ups? We pay heavily to believe this power lives somewhere is us, don’t you know.

As an underdog trying to right a wrong, fight the good fight or heal a broken Heart, as humans we’ve always been drawn to this display of purpose against all odds. It’s the Hero or Heroine’s journey in their battle between good vs evil – most profoundly, within themselves - that thrills us to our bones. Whether it’s a grand quest to achieve greatness, reach freedom or attain salvation, somewhere in our DNA we’re wired to enact this in our own lives. For many it would appear, we only live this on the pages of our favorite books or on fleeing images up on the silver screen.

Although not active in all of us, this brilliant expression of human potential is remarkably present in some. For most of humanity, having been designed and trained to always look outside of ourselves for frikkin’ everything of value, the inner roads of Self-awareness are less frequently traveled. Who can say why a person chooses to wake up from this collective dream? For instance, what drives a man to seek to awaken his Sacred and head out into uncharted territory, looking to find his Self? Why indeed …

Speaking of which, up to date, this is the 179^th blog I’ve posted on this site. Egads amazing! To honor this progression, about a year ago I realized I wanted to publish my work in book form. After consulting a number of people in the know, I decided to compile a number of blogs, presenting them in an eBook format. This would lead into self-publishing a longer book on Awakening The Sacred Masculine with more specific steps, guidelines and strategies to encourage others to embody this in their own lives.

As the Universe forces us all to our destiny, my life has slowly guided me to take this next step as well. I have to say, it certainly feels like one long ass winding road, that’s for damn sure. And so here I Am ~ in this, I’ve decided to first include between 15 – 20 blogs as an eBook (about 100 pages), that presents an overview of this awakening process – though me, Keith Gregory. I realize, this has been the intent all the while, to self/Self express this experience in ways I hadn’t ever heard before.

In this, I wanted to write more from the balls of my ass and not come off sounding so elevated or ‘evolved.’ I wanted to be more sincere, exposed and authentic in my approach instead of all New Agey and faux, angelic-like. People tell me they can relate to what I write, touching a common thread in them and this has continued to inspire me. As this larger project unfolds, I will self-publish a more comprehensive approach to Awakening The Sacred Masculine or more simply, Awakening Your Sacred.

To maintain continuity, l’ll continue posting earlier blogs, in updated form, a couple of times a week. As I concentrate on bringing this eBook project to fruition, I Am focusing on having it out by this Equinox, on September 21^st. Thank you all so much and please wish me luck!

Thank You & Love To Us All ~

PS I am seeking assistance in publishing my work here and invite any and all benefactors, editors, agents and or publishers to help bring this to fruition - any ideas? Please feel free to contact me at heartantra@yahoo.com ~ Thank You So Much ~

PPS I invite you to share these posts with anyone you feel would benefit and if you feel inspired, to write your feedback insights through the ‘Comment’ key on this blog. Also, please check out my work, Heart Tantra - The Attunement Session - on my web site heartantra.com. I offer in-person sessions here in the NYC area and absentee or long-distance work if you don't. Always Blessings On Your Way, Keith 

Grace In Your Face ~

What better place to have the Beloved show up in your life? Face to face. In this respect, I aspire to always see the undeniable presence of Grace forever staring me in the eyes, wherever I look. If only, finding out a bit ago, the things I see outside – and the way I see them - are always an immediate reflection what’s happening within. In every shape and shimmer, the refractions ‘out there‘ mirror my personal awareness, spot-on. How I‘ve wished this wasn’t so! For no other reason than I was sick of my reflections, I was spurred to look under the natty rug of my ego and sneak a peek downstairs in my sizable, Shadow’s basement closet. Yikes.

I somehow knew this was my lifetime to take the plunge, having reached a flip-switch, turnaround point in my Soul’s evolution. As spirals move out in one direction, simultaneously they go elsewise the other way. It’s all a matter of relative perspective, isn’t it? A Soul’s journey is anything but linear though here in Earth School, the order of progression is the natural order of things. Fall follows summer after spring grew out of winter. It just works this way. It’s the cause and effect factor. Karma and all that.

To overly simplify: at some moment in a Soul’s journey, there is a shift that occurs. Most usually after an especially challenging, difficult and painful experience (or many), that irrevocably catches your attention – the Grace of suffering – that makes you choose to stop doing what hurts so much. In my experience this is rarely voluntary. An old Chinese saying goes: only when you become sick of your sickness will you cease being sick. Talk about tough self-love but alas, I’ve found this often to be true.

There’s a term I first heard when Carlos Castaneda came out, speaking from the Toltec way of knowledge, called ‘a Shaman’s blow.’ It’s a punch or physical impact to your body delivered by a master that blasts the shit out of your self-perception - your personal view of your self and your world. Its intention is to help shatter your ego. Only then can it potentially reconfigure in a clearer or more transparent way. It’s a ‘warrior’s path’ of awakening, not for the faint of Heart or weak of constitution. New Age fluff and bluff it most definitely isn’t.

By no means is this a required course of study for everyone. No siree. It however, does apply to the more hardheaded of us, the ones who’ve built up considerable baggage that calls for more drastic measures. It’s a very bottom line, Grace-in-your-face approach to cracking your ego’s nut. Early in my life I was drawn to follow a modified version of this gut-check, self-healing path. I must have known, if I was ever going to perceive clearly through the open lens of my personality, seeing the eyes of The Beloved looking back at me, I’d have to keep taking the next step forward. No matter what - and so I do every day.

As a twist on the old saying: before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water, after enlightenment, grab your ax and pail and get busy. However you empower your awakening in life, being in a physical body necessitates you act more consciously as a result. If not, what’s the point? To quote an old friend; to know better means to do better. Not a lot of fluff there.

Personally speaking, it’s far easier having fresh memories of two brutal, 2 years of Dark Nights, 10yrs apart, where I couldn’t hardly leave the room or get up from bed. I was seriously a mess. In fact, being a mess would have been an upgrade. My life was shit because my sense of self was. In short, I completely lost faith in my self and my world. My beliefs would have it no other way.      

Having an especially shamanic birth chart (astro-speaking), the light that helped guide my way has been my limitations burning up in me and my life. Making it this far through the fires of transformation, believe me, has taught me all I ever need know about awakening my Sacred. It’s like this for the alchemically inclined. However, under all certain terms, unless I’d anchored in my daily Spiritual practice – meditation specifically – I never would have made it successfully through those dark times. Never.

Speaking of which, meditation boils down to simply this: getting totally and relentlessly present. 100% or as best you possibly can. Only then will you discover the biggest secret of all. It is so utterly simple and near impossible to achieve. To open the arms of Grace evermore, all you need do is never believe your thoughts are true. Or real, for that matter. This especially goes for your emotions as well. This is the nonnegotiable biggie. When this clicks, Grace comes to dwell in your garden like a beautiful orchid, longing to take hold and continuously bloom in your life. Perfectly so, this an unavoidable outcome to your awakening

When you’re no longer at the behest and command of your thoughts and feelings, you will become free. This cellular knowingness is what separates an aspirant from a realized master. To wit: The Buddha apparently said: the difference between me and a beggar is he only thinks he’s a beggar and I know I Am Buddha. Catchy to the Heart of the matter.

Perhaps like many of us these days, I sometimes feel trapped in an extended version of ‘living in Limboland,’ particularly dwelling in this mighty Mecca of Materialism, NYC. It does try one’s patience, I must say. As my personality questions the workings of Grace (still!), being mindful that I’d certainly have things very differently arranged - really I would – this isn’t the bottom line now. I remind myself this really isn’t about me or my personal needs anymore. Been there, done that to no great outcome.

I’ve learned the magic only comes from aligning my own needs with the higher design of my Soul. This is my Grace Place, my face to face time with the Beloved as me.

Thank You & Love To Us All ~

  

PS I am seeking assistance in publishing my work here and invite any and all benefactors, editors, agents and or publishers to help bring this to fruition - any ideas? Please feel free to contact me at heartantra@yahoo.com ~ Thank You So Much ~

PPS I invite you to share these posts with anyone you feel would benefit and if you feel inspired, to write your feedback insights through the ‘Comment’ key on this blog. Also, please check out my work, Heart Tantra - The Attunement Session - on my web site heartantra.com. I offer in-person sessions here in the NYC area and absentee or long-distance work if you don't. Always Blessings On Your Way, Keith 

My Grace Place ~

Funny how the Mystery never follows our rules or fulfills our plans. Not ever exactly, anyway. Take Grace for instance. Is there anything more elusive, more enchanting and mystical I wonder? It’s like The Holy Spirit – what the heck is it?! Does your idea of this blessed satori state mean consistently getting your desires met, just the way it always feels good - don’t I wish - and that the fickle finger of Fate (Grace’s not so glamorous, half-brother) ever smiles upon you, no matter what?

  

If you’ve lived past the age of naïveté and certainly innocence, surely you’ve grown out of this enchanting fairytale. If you’ve chosen the path of Awakening your Sacred you also know, the knock-downs and drag-outs have proven as valuable, if not more so, than your favorite highlight moments, sitting comfy on easy street. Believe me, I’m all about extended vacations and do my very best to live each day like on Holiday and yet, looking back, it’s been the most difficult experiences in my life I’ve grown the most from.

A seasoned Soul knows the low points are what sharpened our focus to have us get on up in the first place – and continued busting our ass, when necessary, to keep us doing so. Through thick and thin, life has taught me the only way out is through. 

To actualize awakening my Sacred, my deepest healing has come from loving my most unlovable selves. These were the ones I hated the most about me. Simply put: my salvation has come from forgiving myself of absolutely everything - though most of all, it’s being grateful for all of it, just as it is. This is the master stroke.

This more gritty and less convenient path isn’t so preferred by those who’ve yet to truly weather the titanic storms of their own ego’s meltdown. And I don’t mean heavily dented or worn down a bit. These hazardous crossings into the murky, unknown waters of your unconscious, your Shadow (and yes, sinking miserably in the process) are the crucial passages in making your Hero and Heroine’s journey Home. If it were easy, we’d all be fully awakened, not to mention happy.

However you call it, to get out the other side, you’re gonna have to walk through the flames of your severe self-judgment and the fire of your shitty self-worth. Or at the very least, be willing to. The boxing adage: you get knocked down to learn how to get back up is thankfully not every Soul’s prime directive, though for those who qualify, it’s been this way. 

Some of us just have tougher material to heal, that's all, though by no means have I had it really hard. Not with what I've seen others go through, that's for sure. This sense of being out of sorts in the world is nothing new to me or for any of us, for that matter. I’ve often felt off step with the drum rolls many seem to easily follow, having wondered what is wrong with me for not being like them. Sound familiar?

Having had a Godzilla-sized inner critic to contend with, it’s been a conflictual struggle coming to terms with this enigma. Having carried the ‘not good enough’ stigma into this life, I had to pivot it to actually heal it. I had to love it back whole again. Without this, no exquisite magic grows. This has been and remains, the work of my awakening. 

As such and like so many, I’ve had to transform the heavier, meaner and more addicted parts of myself to do so. As only love can break your Heart, only love can heal it again. I've found my Sacred within my Heart that held my pain. This is a price to this precious gift and one you’ll have to dearly earn.

And this too is Grace, you better believe. As a man calling in the highest Presence I know, all to awaken and embody my Sacred Masculine/Feminine, you name it, Grace has taught me the clearest reflection of Itself is knowing I Am always resting in It - however whenever wherever I happen to be. No matter what. Especially when I’m in a tight, discontented mood, feeling things aren’t going my way and with this attitude, probably never will. Mind you, many times in my life, this wasn’t an especially unique mood. Over the years, it’s one I’ve spent all too much time in, I must say.

 

For me, the doorway out of Funkville also became my greatest gift back to God. My sincerity – and willingness to act on it is the key. This is what completes the embrace. (Grace!). It’s said, the Beloved will cross endless Universes to reach you but you have to take your next step. Plain and simple. 

Whatever it is, you gotta move forward. However this is for you – RIGHT NOW IN YOUR LIFE – with what all you’ve got going on, you have to be willing to move towards the Light of your Self. Yes, you will have to act, though a significant interior shift or opening counts just as much.

… to be continued …

Thank You & Love To Us All ~

PS I am seeking assistance in publishing my work here and invite any and all benefactors, editors, agents and or publishers to help bring this to fruition - any ideas? Please feel free to contact me at heartantra@yahoo.com ~ Thank You So Much ~

PPS I invite you to share these posts with anyone you feel would benefit and if you feel inspired, to write your feedback insights through the ‘Comment’ key on this blog. Also, please check out my work, Heart Tantra - The Attunement Session - on my web site heartantra.com. I offer in-person sessions here in the NYC area and absentee or long-distance work if you don't. Always Blessings On Your Way, Keith